I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
