we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You made out with two different species that night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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