I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
