Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
