Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize