You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
