our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
