Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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