Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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