I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That accounts for only three of the penises
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
