If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How's work?
Spinning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
