so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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