you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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