I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
