he was CRYING into my vagina
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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