So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
