i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
