we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
