Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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