I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
