.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
