your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize