I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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