My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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