She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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