just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
