The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She bit a glass in half.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
