Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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