she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
