and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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