The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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