i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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