Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
