please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
