We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How external is "for external use only"?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
