i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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