I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
