So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
