last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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