your parents love me but you hate me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
