how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
