Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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