What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
