I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
no, he came in my armpit
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
