He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
