is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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