You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
