wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
