As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
