Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
