Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
