That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my shit smells like andre
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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