i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
