His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
