Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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