Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
