so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
